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Is it idealistic to believe that everyone can learn to love their body? This
became a burning question as I set out to write on this topic of body
acceptance. Why do I muse about this subject? It's been said that writers write
what they wish to know. And when it comes to loving my body - it's been a
constant, lifelong process.
That said: Here's what I know (or want to know) about loving the body we've
been given. The process begins with acceptance. And to accept one's body, I
believe, can be broken down into a three step process:
Step One: Make Peace With Yourself
The journey toward body acceptance begins by making peace with yourself.
Sure, we all have things about our body we'd gladly exchange if we could, but
what's the reality in this idea? Therefore, begin by asking yourself: "What
about my body must I learn to accept as it is?" To help identify my feelings, I
like to use a journal. When you're ready, jot down your answer to this question.
Look at your answers: Can you find ways to be grateful for what you have? What
gifts does your body allow you to share? Make a note of these answers, as well.
Here's a personal example: When I was younger, I was taller than everyone
else at school. I felt displaced. Although I tried to slouch and slump, it
didn't decrease my height much. I also realized my back hurt a lot. But more
importantly people were always asking: "What's wrong?" "Are you depressed?" It
wasn't until later, I began taking a look at how being tall was a great benefit,
as well as how my body language was contributing to my outward negative
expression.
Step Two: Become Aware Of Your Body Language
This brings me to Step Two of our three part equation: What is your posture
saying about you? Body language tells a story. If we pay attention, we can tell
a lot about a person just by becoming aware of their body language. Think for a
moment: What is your body language saying about you? Take a look: Are you
slouching with arms crossed? Is your posture not what it could be? Aside from
compressing the organs, poor posture could also be telling the world you are
unhappy.
In his bestselling book, Body Language: The Essential Secrets of Non-Verbal
Communication, Julius Fast tells us that body Language is actually a scientific
principle. The scientific study of body language, "Kinesics," has proven that
body language can actually contradict verbal communication. Here are just three
ways your body language can give a negative vibe to anyone you are in contact
with:
• Poor posture
• Arms crossed
• Eyes averted
Conversely, there are also a great many ways to exhibit positive body
language: eye contact, strong posture and a confident stance. Check out this fun
list of body signals here:
http://www.deltabravo.net/custody/body.htm
Step Three: Find Something You Love About Yourself And Let It Expand
Step Three gets tricky. I am sure we could all find things we "like" about
ourselves, but this step asks you to find a part of yourself that you love.
Again, begin with your journal. Now take a good look into the mirror and ask
what you love about yourself. Perhaps with a spoonful of acceptance you can find
a myriad of traits. Take some time every day to address the positive parts of
yourself.
A personal example: I admit, I have large, curly, complicated hair. When I
was growing up I did everything to straighten it: slept with a hat on, ironed it
flat. You name it! Finally, in the 80s I realized how much time I was wasting.
Why couldn't I just accept what I had been given? One day I just said "okay - I
surrender!" (Fortunately, Cher's tousled mane helped me reach my decision). This
brings us to Step Three B:
Find a Role Model:
I'm not a large advocate of looking to celebrities or mass media for divine
inspiration. Yet, I am always on the lookout for people of whom to admire and
model myself, regardless how their message is presented to me. Most often, I
believe there are angels and guides ready and waiting for us to accept our
teachings, then show us what we need to know.
This requires little more than looking outside ourselves and becoming aware.
Look around. Who is holding a message for you? Often times, I look to my brother
for inspiration. As I've mentioned often, he was born with Spina Bifida, a
paralyzing birth defect. Although unable to walk, he continues to have a deep
fondness for his body and is grateful to it for allowing him to work and
experience life. It makes my hair dilemma seem a lot less significant.
In Conclusion:
Every day I try to take time to thank my body for the freedom it gives me.
Whether I do this by musing in my journal or simply stopping to affirm and
congratulate myself when I complete my exercise for the day. Although Loving
oneself and the body is guaranteed to be a lifelong process - I personally try
to recognize when my frustrations are real and when I become muddied by the
superficial. I would say to you, as I say to myself, aim to set superficial
thoughts aside. Give yourself the freedom to love and accept yourself in the
perfection you were created.
Journal Questions:
• Is there one part of your body you can accept and love fully right now?
• Can you find a new part of your body to be grateful for, tomorrow?
About The Author
Laura Turner is a natural health practitioner and author. She hosts http://www.beauty-and-body.com and publishes the New
Body News and Wellness Letter, The Online Magazine Healthy People Read. (http://www.new-body-news.com) Subscribe for f.r.e.e.
and receive her Special Report: "Take Charge of Your Health!" and check out her
latest book: Spiritual Fitness! |
